The Heavenly Hotline: Dialing 'M' for Mary and the Saints!

Hello??? McFly.... Hello? ... is anyone listening?

Idolatry! Paganism! False Doctrine! Heresy! I can hear the screams already as Evangelical Protestants - and some Mormons - have a collective meltdown. After writing several serious and academically toned articles, I’m looking to have some fun, and I’m feeling a bit cheeky. I’ll do my best not to let it descend into blasphemy, buuut that might be difficult for me…

I spent far too long laughing at my own joke with this meme I created….

The concept, role, and practices surrounding Mary and the Saints were a big stumbling block for me when looking into the Orthodox church. I fully admit that while I’m more comfortable with this conceptually, I have not yet attempted any kind of prayers or communications with “Mother Mary” or the Saints. I still don’t really know how to go about doing it, to be honest. I should ask my spiritual father.

That said, having practiced Mahayana Buddhism for a decade, lobbing a few cosmic requests to the enlightened VIPs still hanging around samsara¹, the Bodhisattvas, during meditation practice, wasn't exactly breaking new ground for me. But for some reason, when it’s Mary and Saints, it’s more difficult. Thanks for all that protestant brainwashing, Mom!

Right, so let’s talk about the A-Team of the afterlife assistance hotline: the Virgin Mary and the Saints. Buckle up as we take a heavenly magic carpet ride through Orthodoxy, prayers, and pesky accusations of idolatry…. it’s a whole new world….. a new fantastic point of view!!! ok ok, I’ll knock it off.

Content warning…. ChatGTP may, possibly, have been viciously abused during the creation of this article to make me seem funnier than I am…. I’m such a drab bore; I really needed help, mental help for sure, but that’s something for my therapist, not you - you nosey busybody! Now, let’s get on with it…..

Ring, Ring, Who’s There? It’s the Theotokos!