The Way of a Pilgrim

Finding Buddhist Practices in Orthodox Hesychasm

An Orthodox Monk meditating in Buddhist fashion, courtesy Chat-GTP 4o

I lost my testimony of the LDS church decades ago but hung on for the sake of my family. I didn’t want to cause confusion or upset while my children lived at home or were serving LDS missions. This was, of course, a personal decision. When I came home from my mission, it was to find that my parents were in the middle of a divorce. I didn’t want my kids to come home to a distressing situation.

I continued to attend the LDS church, but in 2014, I secretly converted to Buddhism. After a year of activity at my local temple, I took the triple gem ceremony but invited nobody. I intentionally hid a day that should have been joyful and celebratory from my family—afraid of the fallout and negative impact it might have. In the following years, I studied Buddhist literature, took temple trips, and went on pilgrimages to faraway temples. I continued to be a practicing Buddhist until the experience during meditation that sent me spiraling back to Christianity in 2023. You can read about that briefly in the article below.

Leaving the Church

My initial reaction to Christ’s call was one of hostility, not acceptance. I was perfectly happy being a practicing Buddhist and, from my perspective, being left the hell alone.

I greatly valued three practices in my Buddhist practice: mindfulness meditation, mantra recitation, and the use of prayer beads to help count breaths or mantra recitation. These practices led to significant spiritual experiences in the temple and were my greatest sources of peace. Because of this, I ignored Christ’s call for over a year. I didn’t want to give up what I had.

But the Lord was persistent and eventually brought me to the Orthodox Christian church. When I found the Church, I ceased my Buddhist practices, believing them to be inappropriate. I viewed this as a sacrifice I must make to God to move closer to Him. In the place where I used to meditate, I created an Icon corner, but my meditation cushion remained just off to the side. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it.

Then, shortly after my baptism, I discovered a book called “The Way of a Pilgrim.¹” which introduced me to Orthodox mysticism.